Before you get into any meaningful relationship, there should be careful assessment of one self. Therefore in order to have a Godly marital relationship, one needs to commit this into prayer and expect to hear something from God to inform your conviction about the person to date. This is a matter of choice; therefore a bad choice may cost you a lot in life.

A relationship can be a great way to have fun and create a special friendship as well as learn a lot about yourself and others. You should be convinced if a relationship is happy and going well when you:
· Can laugh and enjoy someone’s company
· Feel safe and supported
· Provide safety and support
· Share ideas and feelings
· Respect each other

Every relationship is unique, and you may have your own way of knowing that a relationship is right for you. Even when a relationship is going well it is important that you still put effort into it and don’t take the relationship for granted. Be aware of what you need in a relationship as well as what other people need. This way, your relationships have the best chance of growing and continuing to be strong and healthy.

Often when we are in a relationship for any length of time, we tend to take for granted our significant other and forget what it was that attracted us to them in the first place.  This can be a very dangerous situation, especially when you become distracted by other temptations and illusions that are out there to woo you astray.
The key to maintaining a happy relationship is simply this – never let a day go by, when you don’t let your beloved know how much you appreciate them and care for them – security

Before we discuss into detail, there is one basic thing, which is paramount and should not be condoned in the course of the relationship. That is doing things that engaging in any sexual affair with your beloved before legally getting married. This might ruin the relationship without the divine intervention God.

You should also perceive the following in mind:

 

 

·         Do not think of having an ex

·         Set goals for relationship – for example it should lead to marriage

 

So, what are some of the ingredients one needs to use in keeping and maintaining a Godly marital relationship?

 

Trust and being honest – Learning to trust someone and being honest with someone may take time. It can also be an important ingredient in a healthy relationship. As you spend more time with someone and start to share experiences together, your level of trust may increase. Always trust your partner. Suspicion is one of the major reasons behind failed relationships.

Never both get angry at the same time. I often heard this advice on seminars and read it in books. I asked myself if it is really possible not to be angry at the same time? When our partner is upset with something and he/she is angry, our moods are affected. It needs patience and understanding to deal with this situation. If you really love your mate, you will be able to keep calm when he/she is angry. Just by keeping quiet and listen is the best way to relieve such emotion.

Never yell at each other unless there is an emergency. Yelling can kill love. Don’t give any reason for your partner to yell at you. If one of you has to win the argument, let it be your mate. Learn to accept mistakes and apologize. Lower your pride and it will make a difference. I know how hard it is to do this but it is worth a try. It is an effective way to keep the relationship strong and healthy. I am hurt when somebody yells at me specially my husband. It is no use to yell back it will just make things worse. I just wait for the right time to let him know how I feel about it. At least he knows and he avoids doing it again.

Recognize what your partner does well, and comment on those strengths.
No one wants to be put down or belittled all the time, and unfortunately many marriages turn into nagging competitions where we focus on the negative aspects of the person or relationship that frustrates us.  Identify the positives and play those up instead.  For every single negative point, come up with four positive points to counter balance it.

Do something nice and unexpected for your beloved.
Do nice things for your beloved on special occasions (birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc.) but in addition, try to do something memorable on a regular, otherwise uneventful, day that will brighten his/her outlook and make them feel appreciated.

Spend time together.
Make a conscious effort to plan “we time”, not just “me time”.  Even if you don’t share common interests, show your support by attending an event or being actively involved in your partner’s hobbies.  

Keep communicating

It is a good idea to keep the lines of communication open. This may mean talking regularly about what is happening in your life and how you feel about it. When people share their opinions and feelings they develop a greater understanding of each other’s likes and dislikes. It may also help to work out what each other are wanting from the relationship. This particular tool is key and paramount.

Respecting each other’s space

Hanging out together is important in getting to know each other and it can also be great fun. Giving each other space from time to time is also important. Enjoying the company of a number of people like your friends, and not just the person who you are having a relationship with, may help you to expand your interests and give you lots of new things to share. This may also help your relationships continue to grow and be fun and interesting.

Managing arguments or difference of opinions

It is natural that people sometimes have differences of opinion. When we disagree with each other we may feel angry or frustrated. Not letting someone know your opinion, not having your opinion heard or having to accept someone’s opinion without discussion may add to your frustrations and may make a relationship difficult. It is a good idea to express your opinions, let the other person know that you are listening to them and try to reach an understanding between the two of you. You might choose to:
· Respect their right to an opinion but not accept their opinion
· Agree to disagree
· See the other persons point of view
· Accept that your opinion needs to change
It may be good to remember that we are all different and the world could be really boring if we were all the same! Trying to accept differences, especially between the people we like and ourselves, can help make you and the relationship healthier and stronger.
Do not assume your partner can read your mind.

Be explicit about your wants and needs. Assuming that your partner knows everything or understands your actions when there is no proper communication to transmit the message clearly, could cause a lot of damage to the relationship. This could lead to misunderstanding between the two. Assumptions are almost if not all, associated with failed relationships.

Do not bring up any past misdeed if it is more than one year old.

There is a popular phrase that “if you leave in the past, you have no future”. As much as it is vital to learn from your past mistakes, it is tantamount pointing accusing fingures to whoever caused that misdeed. Revisting an unpleasant situation of the past which involves both of you, may incite passions and it could lead to further arguments and also cause tempers to rise. In this case the possibilty of the relationship to come to a halt is almost paramount.

Give your partner lots of time to mull/ponder over issues.

Do not expect instant decisions or actions. It s better to take a lot of time to make the right decision than to suggest a wrong one in the shortest possible time. Exerting too much preesure on your partner for an answer to an issue colud mean a lot of things. It could be that you care about your welfare and not both of you. Therefore any third person who comes into the relationship and gives ample time  on issues based on the relationship without rush could win the heart of your partner.

Never ever fail to express your feelings.

Tell your partner how much you love him/her as often as possible. This will rekindle the relationship and make it look as though it was the first time of seeing your partner.

Pray for a lasting relationship that could lead to marriage.

Prayer is the key ingredient in a successful relationship. Anything that happens under this sun, Cannot materialize based on our own doings but by the Grace and Mercies of the Almighty. Therefore it is very important to always commit your relationship into the LORD’s hands. This way you are sure of achieving good results.

 

The phrase “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” may suggest a better life beyond your own, but remember, you still have to mow the lawn and weed the garden to keep it looking lovely & fresh once you get there. It is therefore demanding on both couples to know that, they have got this gift of Love, but it is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and think it is going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep nurturing it. The onus now lies on both couples to make it work and should also appreciate the fact that love is not how long both of you have been together, not how much you’ve given or received, not how many times you’ve helped each other. It is how you value each other. It does not come easy but if you are determined to make your relationship work, with the help of the Almighty Father, it shall come to pass.